Experiences
The weekend before last Bob, Sandrine, Nikhitita, and I went to Thiruvananthapuram, Kerala again to visit Bob’s parents who live there and his brother and family who were visiting from Dubai. His sister and her son, who we see quite frequently in Mumbai, would also be there. At my husband’s suggestion, his parents made arrangements for all of us to visit Kanyakumari, the southernmost tip of India. I was excited as it was a good idea for us to all spend some quality time together and for his parents to take a break from worrying about the logistics of having so many people in the house.
The trip itself was quite an undertaking with 7 adults and 4 kids. A Tempo Traveller van and driver were required for the 87 km trip over slow bumpy roads which would take 3-4 hours, including a stop for lunch which included a traditional meal served on banana leaves. As was her trademark, my mother-in-law packed enough food to last 3-4 days, not hours. As we rode along, cousins who see each other for a few days, if lucky, every year or year and a half enjoyed each other’s company. It never ceases to amaze me how quickly children can get along even if they have been apart. The children noisily sang songs while my mischievous 4.5 year old nephew interspersed his own sounds to their melodies creating new twists to old classics. Nikhitita passed the time dozing on my lap and enjoyed being passed from my lap to my husband’s and then his sister’s in turn. She also stood up on the seat, peering curiously over the seat back in front of her. I remember thinking that she was not going to like using a car seat again when we returned to the U.S. in December.
En route we stopped at Padamanabhapuram Palace which was built around 1601 A.D by Iravi Iravi Varma Kulasekhara Perumal who ruled Travancore at the time. The palace and the surrounding complex are examples of traditional Kerala architecture and artistry. Unfortunately tickets were sold out until an hour later and our entourage decided that it would be a difficult endeavor to wait with the kids, especially since it had just started to drizzle.
We finally arrived at our hotel and eagerly looked out from the large open windows in the lobby that overlooked the waters to catch a glimpse of the famed shores where waters from the Arabian Sea, Indian Ocean, and the Bay of Bengal intermingle. Although located in the state of Tamil Nadu, Kanyakumari or Cape Comorin as it was called during British rule, is bordered by the state of Kerala to the North and the Northwest, to the Southeast by the Bay of Bengal, the South by the Indian Ocean, and Southwest by the Arabian Sea. To the north and northeast of Kanyakumari district lie the Tirunelveli district of Tamil Nadu.
On our first evening in Kanyakumari we decided to visit the Gandhi Memorial, which was finished in 1956. Mahatma Gandhi had apparently made two visits to Kanyakumai, the second of which was in January 1937. Below an engraving of Gandhi were inscribed the words, “I am writing this at the cape, in front of the sea, where three waters meet and furnish a sight unequalled in the world, for this is no port of call for vessels. Like the goddess, the waters around are virgin. 15-1-1937.” Kanyakumari itself means “virgin goddess.” The Gandhi Mandapam, as the Gandhi Memorial is also called, was contructed at the spot where the urn that held his ashes after cremation was placed for public view before some of the ashes were scattered into the three bodies of water. It was designed such that on October 2nd, Gandhi’s birthday, the sun shines exactly on the spot where the urn sat.
From the ground floor of the Memorial we made our way up the spiraling stairwell to two levels where we could enjoy the panoramic view. There was a small stretch of beach and from the middle of the water extended two famous landmarks: the Thiruvalluvar statue on one island and the Swami Vivekananda Rock Memorial from the other. On Christmas Day in 1892 Swami Vivekananda swam to the rock and meditated there throughout the night. It was at this sight that he dedicated himself to serve India and it is here that a memorial has been constructed in his memory. We would have to save a visit to those sights for tomorrow.
I was brought back to reality as my husband’s sister seeing the small stretch of beach called out in a disappointed tone, “I want a sandy beach….where is the sandy beach?” We gathered our shoes which had to be “checked in” prior to entering the Gandhi Memorial and followed a stranger’s gesture as to the path to take to reach the small beach we had seen from overhead. Apparently my sister-in-law had made a trip here some time back and etched into her memory were stretches of multi-colored sandy beaches and waters of three colors meeting. We arrived at the beach which was small and crowded. Turbulent waters hit the rocky ledges that covered the outer shores and jubilant tourists enjoyed the feel of the cold water on their feet. Sandrine worked up the courage to go to one of these rocky landings with her cousins while Bob and I watched from a distance. Nikhitita surveying all from atop Bob’s shoulders while I snapped photos on my camera as well as my brother-in-law’s camera
Kanyakumari is famed for it’s beautiful sunsets and sunrises so next we piled into the van again and drove to a picturesque spot, aptly named sunset point, to watch the sun settle over the shores. The scenic overlook was rather spacious and the kids had a great time playing on the merry-go-round and chasing each other around, while the adults enjoyed the serene landscape and watching the evening light gradually dim over the sea. Vendors followed the women of our party around plying their wares of seashell jewelry and other “ornaments from the sea.” More than the jewelry I was fascinated by their ability to seamlessly switch from Tamil to Malalayalam to English after astutely assessing their potential customer.
After such an eventful day, we were enjoying a peaceful night’s sleep only to be jarred awake by a knock on our door, “Sunrise.” It was 5:30 am. Not one to take a chance on missing anything I sat down on our balcony to welcome the new day with Bob who is anyway a light sleeper and early riser. Sandrine and Nikhitita were sprawled out on our bed oblivious to things like sunrises and as I looked at the minisule open space left on the bed, I wondered whether Bob and I had slept suspended in space. The sunrise, albeit only an hour later was extraordinary.
At first I was not sure why the hotel staff woke us up so early but the gradual ushering in of the day was well worth the wait. The sun’s rays peeked out gradually over the southernmost tip of India slowly illuminating the fishing boats that rocked unsteadily but managed to cling to the shores. As the morning light broke, fishermen climbed atop their boats bracing themselves for yet another day of earning their livelihood.
After enjoying a leisurely cup of coffee on our balcony and conversing with my brother-in-law and his wife who were also enjoying the morning air on their adjoining balcony, we set out for the day’s activities. We decided to take the ferry to the Swami Vivekananda Rock Memorial. The queue was very long and Bob immediately offered to go back to the hotel with Nikhitita. His parents who had decided that it would be too difficult to make the trip to the Memorial were there. As the line started moving, and at my urging, we all decided to go. As we reached the point of embarkation, we were split into two lines, one for men and one for women. Seeing the harried returning crowd stampede out from the ferry before it had even reached the shore I looked nervously at my husband’s sister, who was carrying Nikhitita. “Do you want me to hold her?” I looked at Bob who was in the men’s line with Sandrine. “Hold on to her.”
We got off at the first stop which was the Memorial and Bob and his brother decided to stay with the younger children in a waiting area while my niece, older nephew and the women of
our group visited the Memorial. We had been told that there would be a lot of walking. Too bad, because in retrospect there really wasn’t much walking and the children would have enjoyed running around the huge terrace surrounded the Vivekananda Memorial structure and the views of the Kanyakumari shoreline were fabulous.
Getting back onto the ferry was no small feat, although Bob and his brother had somehow convinced the ferry operators to allow us to bypass the huge return line. There was a brouhaha as people fought for whatever seating there was and the rocking boat was overfilled and every nook and cranny was jammed with tourists and the faithful. We all looked at each other and decided that with so many children it would be painful to alight and embark again at the second stop, which was the island on which stood the imposing 133 feet tall statue of Tamil poet, Tiruvalluvar. We decided to head back to the mainland.
On the way back to the van, my sister-in-law and I were drawn to the various stalls that lined the walkway back. My husband, his brother, and his sister who do not like to shop and the tired, hungry children and my husband's constant reminder to "hurry up" prevented us from us from doing more than just glancing at the tempting wares. We decided to return alone to peruse the stalls at leisure, which we did later that afternoon. My sister-in-law who grew up in Tamil Nadu spoke fluent Tamil and helped me to procure some great deals on knick-knacks for my girls. She picked up a few things for her children as well. We had never had a chance to spend time together like this and I surprised to find that we both enjoyed street shopping.
After returning from our journey I spoke to my Mom in Chicago via Skype and told her about our trip, excited as I always am about having seen a new place. She surprised me when she told me that it wasn’t my first trip to Kanyakumari. Apparently I had been there when I was 4.5 and my brother 1.5. Those were the exact ages of Sandrine and Nikhitita during this trip! I felt a little sad to think that they, like I at that age, would probably not remember the trip. Ah yet another opportunity for me to show them numerous photos of the journey (as those who know me know I always take). But I suppose in the grand scheme I would be happy if they could retain some memory of their time with their cousins.
My sister-in-law never did find her sandy beach. It turns out that on December 26, 2004 the Asian tsunami, triggered by an earthquake in the Indian Ocean near the Indonesian island of Sumatra, hit Kanyakumari. Of 700 people who were stranded on the Vivekananda Rock Memorial, only 650 were rescued. Supposedly one of the survivors was vacationing former German chancellor Helmut Kohl who was helicoptered out. Nonetheless, the famed beaches of Kanyakumari were never the same after that day. Only a small section of sandy beach is still accessible to the public and retaining walls separate the shores from the sea as a visible reminder of the day that devastation struck these famed shores.
Nothing stays the same, I was 4.5 when I first visited these shores, now my older daughter is that same age. My in-laws walked these shores with my husband and his siblings years ago. Now, they are content to wait in the hotel, unable to walk on the beach with their grandchildren. My sister-in-law yearns for sandy beaches, but they don’t exist any more. One of my friends in graduate school once told me that people need to experience things together in order to develop long-standing relationships. Phone conversations by themselves are just not enough. Who knows what the next 30 years will bring? Living in different countries, Bob, myself, and our children will inevitably be different from his siblings and their families. Even something so seemingsly stoic as the Kanyakumari landscape will most likely be different. I understand now that my friend was absolutely right. Hopefully our experiences together as a family in Kanyakumari will help deeper relationships endure.
The trip itself was quite an undertaking with 7 adults and 4 kids. A Tempo Traveller van and driver were required for the 87 km trip over slow bumpy roads which would take 3-4 hours, including a stop for lunch which included a traditional meal served on banana leaves. As was her trademark, my mother-in-law packed enough food to last 3-4 days, not hours. As we rode along, cousins who see each other for a few days, if lucky, every year or year and a half enjoyed each other’s company. It never ceases to amaze me how quickly children can get along even if they have been apart. The children noisily sang songs while my mischievous 4.5 year old nephew interspersed his own sounds to their melodies creating new twists to old classics. Nikhitita passed the time dozing on my lap and enjoyed being passed from my lap to my husband’s and then his sister’s in turn. She also stood up on the seat, peering curiously over the seat back in front of her. I remember thinking that she was not going to like using a car seat again when we returned to the U.S. in December.En route we stopped at Padamanabhapuram Palace which was built around 1601 A.D by Iravi Iravi Varma Kulasekhara Perumal who ruled Travancore at the time. The palace and the surrounding complex are examples of traditional Kerala architecture and artistry. Unfortunately tickets were sold out until an hour later and our entourage decided that it would be a difficult endeavor to wait with the kids, especially since it had just started to drizzle.
We finally arrived at our hotel and eagerly looked out from the large open windows in the lobby that overlooked the waters to catch a glimpse of the famed shores where waters from the Arabian Sea, Indian Ocean, and the Bay of Bengal intermingle. Although located in the state of Tamil Nadu, Kanyakumari or Cape Comorin as it was called during British rule, is bordered by the state of Kerala to the North and the Northwest, to the Southeast by the Bay of Bengal, the South by the Indian Ocean, and Southwest by the Arabian Sea. To the north and northeast of Kanyakumari district lie the Tirunelveli district of Tamil Nadu.
On our first evening in Kanyakumari we decided to visit the Gandhi Memorial, which was finished in 1956. Mahatma Gandhi had apparently made two visits to Kanyakumai, the second of which was in January 1937. Below an engraving of Gandhi were inscribed the words, “I am writing this at the cape, in front of the sea, where three waters meet and furnish a sight unequalled in the world, for this is no port of call for vessels. Like the goddess, the waters around are virgin. 15-1-1937.” Kanyakumari itself means “virgin goddess.” The Gandhi Mandapam, as the Gandhi Memorial is also called, was contructed at the spot where the urn that held his ashes after cremation was placed for public view before some of the ashes were scattered into the three bodies of water. It was designed such that on October 2nd, Gandhi’s birthday, the sun shines exactly on the spot where the urn sat.
From the ground floor of the Memorial we made our way up the spiraling stairwell to two levels where we could enjoy the panoramic view. There was a small stretch of beach and from the middle of the water extended two famous landmarks: the Thiruvalluvar statue on one island and the Swami Vivekananda Rock Memorial from the other. On Christmas Day in 1892 Swami Vivekananda swam to the rock and meditated there throughout the night. It was at this sight that he dedicated himself to serve India and it is here that a memorial has been constructed in his memory. We would have to save a visit to those sights for tomorrow.
I was brought back to reality as my husband’s sister seeing the small stretch of beach called out in a disappointed tone, “I want a sandy beach….where is the sandy beach?” We gathered our shoes which had to be “checked in” prior to entering the Gandhi Memorial and followed a stranger’s gesture as to the path to take to reach the small beach we had seen from overhead. Apparently my sister-in-law had made a trip here some time back and etched into her memory were stretches of multi-colored sandy beaches and waters of three colors meeting. We arrived at the beach which was small and crowded. Turbulent waters hit the rocky ledges that covered the outer shores and jubilant tourists enjoyed the feel of the cold water on their feet. Sandrine worked up the courage to go to one of these rocky landings with her cousins while Bob and I watched from a distance. Nikhitita surveying all from atop Bob’s shoulders while I snapped photos on my camera as well as my brother-in-law’s camera
Kanyakumari is famed for it’s beautiful sunsets and sunrises so next we piled into the van again and drove to a picturesque spot, aptly named sunset point, to watch the sun settle over the shores. The scenic overlook was rather spacious and the kids had a great time playing on the merry-go-round and chasing each other around, while the adults enjoyed the serene landscape and watching the evening light gradually dim over the sea. Vendors followed the women of our party around plying their wares of seashell jewelry and other “ornaments from the sea.” More than the jewelry I was fascinated by their ability to seamlessly switch from Tamil to Malalayalam to English after astutely assessing their potential customer.After such an eventful day, we were enjoying a peaceful night’s sleep only to be jarred awake by a knock on our door, “Sunrise.” It was 5:30 am. Not one to take a chance on missing anything I sat down on our balcony to welcome the new day with Bob who is anyway a light sleeper and early riser. Sandrine and Nikhitita were sprawled out on our bed oblivious to things like sunrises and as I looked at the minisule open space left on the bed, I wondered whether Bob and I had slept suspended in space. The sunrise, albeit only an hour later was extraordinary.
At first I was not sure why the hotel staff woke us up so early but the gradual ushering in of the day was well worth the wait. The sun’s rays peeked out gradually over the southernmost tip of India slowly illuminating the fishing boats that rocked unsteadily but managed to cling to the shores. As the morning light broke, fishermen climbed atop their boats bracing themselves for yet another day of earning their livelihood.
After enjoying a leisurely cup of coffee on our balcony and conversing with my brother-in-law and his wife who were also enjoying the morning air on their adjoining balcony, we set out for the day’s activities. We decided to take the ferry to the Swami Vivekananda Rock Memorial. The queue was very long and Bob immediately offered to go back to the hotel with Nikhitita. His parents who had decided that it would be too difficult to make the trip to the Memorial were there. As the line started moving, and at my urging, we all decided to go. As we reached the point of embarkation, we were split into two lines, one for men and one for women. Seeing the harried returning crowd stampede out from the ferry before it had even reached the shore I looked nervously at my husband’s sister, who was carrying Nikhitita. “Do you want me to hold her?” I looked at Bob who was in the men’s line with Sandrine. “Hold on to her.”
We got off at the first stop which was the Memorial and Bob and his brother decided to stay with the younger children in a waiting area while my niece, older nephew and the women of
our group visited the Memorial. We had been told that there would be a lot of walking. Too bad, because in retrospect there really wasn’t much walking and the children would have enjoyed running around the huge terrace surrounded the Vivekananda Memorial structure and the views of the Kanyakumari shoreline were fabulous.Getting back onto the ferry was no small feat, although Bob and his brother had somehow convinced the ferry operators to allow us to bypass the huge return line. There was a brouhaha as people fought for whatever seating there was and the rocking boat was overfilled and every nook and cranny was jammed with tourists and the faithful. We all looked at each other and decided that with so many children it would be painful to alight and embark again at the second stop, which was the island on which stood the imposing 133 feet tall statue of Tamil poet, Tiruvalluvar. We decided to head back to the mainland.
On the way back to the van, my sister-in-law and I were drawn to the various stalls that lined the walkway back. My husband, his brother, and his sister who do not like to shop and the tired, hungry children and my husband's constant reminder to "hurry up" prevented us from us from doing more than just glancing at the tempting wares. We decided to return alone to peruse the stalls at leisure, which we did later that afternoon. My sister-in-law who grew up in Tamil Nadu spoke fluent Tamil and helped me to procure some great deals on knick-knacks for my girls. She picked up a few things for her children as well. We had never had a chance to spend time together like this and I surprised to find that we both enjoyed street shopping.
After returning from our journey I spoke to my Mom in Chicago via Skype and told her about our trip, excited as I always am about having seen a new place. She surprised me when she told me that it wasn’t my first trip to Kanyakumari. Apparently I had been there when I was 4.5 and my brother 1.5. Those were the exact ages of Sandrine and Nikhitita during this trip! I felt a little sad to think that they, like I at that age, would probably not remember the trip. Ah yet another opportunity for me to show them numerous photos of the journey (as those who know me know I always take). But I suppose in the grand scheme I would be happy if they could retain some memory of their time with their cousins.
My sister-in-law never did find her sandy beach. It turns out that on December 26, 2004 the Asian tsunami, triggered by an earthquake in the Indian Ocean near the Indonesian island of Sumatra, hit Kanyakumari. Of 700 people who were stranded on the Vivekananda Rock Memorial, only 650 were rescued. Supposedly one of the survivors was vacationing former German chancellor Helmut Kohl who was helicoptered out. Nonetheless, the famed beaches of Kanyakumari were never the same after that day. Only a small section of sandy beach is still accessible to the public and retaining walls separate the shores from the sea as a visible reminder of the day that devastation struck these famed shores.
Nothing stays the same, I was 4.5 when I first visited these shores, now my older daughter is that same age. My in-laws walked these shores with my husband and his siblings years ago. Now, they are content to wait in the hotel, unable to walk on the beach with their grandchildren. My sister-in-law yearns for sandy beaches, but they don’t exist any more. One of my friends in graduate school once told me that people need to experience things together in order to develop long-standing relationships. Phone conversations by themselves are just not enough. Who knows what the next 30 years will bring? Living in different countries, Bob, myself, and our children will inevitably be different from his siblings and their families. Even something so seemingsly stoic as the Kanyakumari landscape will most likely be different. I understand now that my friend was absolutely right. Hopefully our experiences together as a family in Kanyakumari will help deeper relationships endure.
posted by Danakka @ 7:05 PM
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